#DC Rp

[henchmen4hiresmiley]

i Have no Idea How This Man is and I Think he May be Me

[irl-batsignal]

If i were to ever be in a d&d campaign i'd roll for seduction every chance i get. That chest? Rolling for seduction. That door? Seduction. That whole ass dragon boss? Fuck, call me Donkey from shrek cause I'm rolling for seduction.

[itsconstantinebitch]

Do I want to get pregnant again? No, not really.

Do I want to try to get pregnant? Yes, that sounds like a lot of fun, actually.

@kingisshark

[imbatman-imtired]

*Turns you into a werewolf*

What the fuck am I right now

[instinct-wild-dc-irl]

@super-clark

.....Did this actually happen?

Nice rope

[dickgraysonfr]

So, I ate some food right? Well, now I'm nauseous. For like an hour now🧍🏻‍♂️

[just-a-ghost-watcher]

( You Get a text )

come to BIG jim`s bar

I Know Its not open

But come in

i Want to show you Something

and No NEED do bring Your Own Gun

ok?

…..PS Dont tell Le Cops

@henchmen4hiresmiley

...kay.....

[super-clark]

Everybody wants my DNA but nobody wants me.

[winged-demons-and-co]

Ah, Raphael we should--

*sigh* Fine

I order them

Today I learned that Juniper will wear hair clips.

[timblrdrake]

Your dad just gave a random reporter a 200k watch. What in the bribery is happening there?

… he’s so extra

firstly, clark isn’t just a random reporter, they’re best friends.

and secondly, it would take a lot more to buy him, he’s got journalistic integrity of steel

[anotherhumanbrain]

There’s knocking at his front door

Pizza delivery!!

(@clownscangotohell)

Scar hums, barely acknowledging the knock before flicking his fingers to see the cameras, scrunching his eyes as he sees a random person. He hides his fox away to keep it safe before conjuring a weapon, now just who is it? If anything he's annoyed. Very annoyed.

"I don't like pizza. What do you want?" He flicks his weapon, changing it to; A scythe, a chainsaw, sword, dagger.. Which one does he chooses? Urgh he hates this.

[spencerwayne-todd]

Remember the Great Ludwig accident?

WE DO NOT DISCUSS THE GREAT LUDWIG INCIDENT

[en-esprit-de-corps]

Join👏the��Goonion👏 (First Universal Henchman’s Union) Seriously, Todd will hook you up with healthcare, insurance, dental, everything you need. They even cover childcare.

HELPFUL TIPS FOR THE HENCHPEOPLE OF GOTHAM

The buddy system exists for a reason

If you see two vigilantes having sex on a rooftop, do NOT take the opportunity to sneak up on them

Riddler is a little bit gay for Batman

Joker is a little bit gay for Batman

Catwoman is a little bit gay for Batman

Two-Face and Batman are divorced

Azrael is a little bit gay for Batman

Working for Penguin has the best benefits and he is the least likely to kill his own employees

Do NOT call him Penguin to his face

If they wear a cape, they have a praise kink. This can be exploited.

Be careful taking work from anyone with a doctorate. That maniac willingly went through graduate school

Don't forget to look up

[two-face-same-place]

After roughly an hour Ed made it to where Harvey had told him. He looked around frantically and starts digging in the rubble and even cutting up his hands.

After a little bit of work and time he found Harvey and pulled on his arm. “God, Harvey!” He huffed and kept pulling on him to get him out.

Harvey is thoroughly covered in blood as he’s pulled out. He groans in agony as he’s pulled out. “Hey, doll.” he says with a weak smile “Fancy seeing you here” he grits his teeth as he’s pulled out further

[clownscangotohell]

TW GORE

It’s late at night. Tox is wandering around aimlessly. She can’t stop herself from staring at her distorted reflection in cracked storefront windows and car doors… if she squints maybe she won’t see the way her skin keeps subtly shifting around her cheekbones and her eyes shift from green to brown to grey back to green.

She hears a commotion. Something drives her to find the source of the noise— not the need for justice and protection that used to drive her… this is something else. Something she doesn’t understand.

There’s a man in the alley. He wears a ski mask. He is dumping an unusually large trash bag into a dumpster… the trash bag reminds Tox of a mummy. She stalks towards the man and flatly asks,

“did you kill them?”

He doesn’t bother responding, he just whips a Glock out of his belt and fires at her. Shoot first ask questions later. That’s how it’s done in Gotham. The bullet grazes her shoulder but she doesn’t even flinch. She walks closer and closer… the man fires again— this time his aim is better and it’s a straight shot through her ear. There’s no blood. The flesh remaining at the top of her ear drips sickeningly like mud, filling the hole. It writhes and ripples and slowly regains the shape of an ear.

Tox is within arms reach of the man. He tries to grab her shoulder. She ducks and kicks him in the groin. When he falls she grabs his face, her fingers finding their grip in his eyes and nose. His face— bones, muscle, cartilage, and skin— absorb into her hand like water running down a drain, leaving a lumpy boiling mess of ruptured veins and leaking orrifices. Her skin twists and wriggles as it tries to take a new form but she doesn’t allow it yet. Her shoulder is bleeding and her eyes have turned black.

She leaves the body on the ground and opens the bag discarded in the dumpster. She steals the corpse’s face as well— it doesn’t leave as much of a mess. Once she might have called the police… it doesn’t even occur to her now. She claws at and kneads the skin of her face with her hands, desperately trying to force it to keep its shape… she looks like a melting snowman… when was the last time she ate? She can’t remember.